I accidentally loaded Judge Thomas Penfield Jackson's Microsoft breakup order into Photoshop and this is what came up.
David C. Barber, Vanguard Technical Solutions

Look out, keyboard! It's a trap!
John Bachman, Anatek Corp.

Behold . . . the power of cheese!
Bill Plummer, 3M

Microsoft employees suddenly learn that the golden handcuffs are really something quite different!
Everett Groff, Luminous Networks

Typical-they award you a gold-plated mouse for your accomplishments, but there's always a catch.
Carl Carter, Conexant Systems

First attempt at a Zero-G mouse pad.
Ed Lawler, Kodak

Abstinence is the best prevention.
Tony May, Rockwell Collins Government Systems

"Vengeance is mine," sayeth Steve Jobs!
Ed Anthony, Glenayre Electronics Inc.

Where did that byte of cheese go anyway?
Tom Ball, Litton Systems, Interconnect Technology Division

The new treatment device from Net Surfing-holics Anonymous.
Yi-Hsien Doo, Conexant Systems Inc.

My boss finally found a way to get me to quit writing Immortal Captions.
Scott Haney, Rockwell Collins

In spite of antiquated equipment, the government still caught the biggest rat in the computer industry.
Peter Nyhlen, U.S. AIr Force

Like the Blue Screen of Death, some snap decisions can immobilize an expensive PC or workstation.
Richard Barned

Typical Microsoft, claims to be intelligent.
Brett Murphy, Xilinx

I knew I should have ignored their dares. But, "Optical mice have no balls!" they taunted.
Jack Morrison, Jet Propulsion Lab

Witness Harold's failed attempt at his first Internet virus protection hardware.
Jon Winborn, Xetel Corp.

Proof of concept testing at E-cheese.com.
Richard Todd, Furness Controls Inc.

Antitrust case dismissed after evidence of entrapment.
T.C. Patton, Lucent Technologies

A better mouse? It can't even chew off one of its buttons to escape!
Michael Cook, Rockwell Collins Inc.

Now you know how we all feel, Microsoft.
Ed Klein, EFK Systems

Walt Disney Pictures reveals plans for another remake of The Parent Trap, starring Macaulay Culkin as Bill Gates Jr. Initial indications are that this movie will have a slightly different theme.
Brion Ebert, Enikia Inc.

Personal use of company equipment is strongly discouraged.
Jerry Comer, Vertex-RSI Division, Tripoint Global

The mousetrap doing one-click shopping.
Haresh Patel, Fairchild Semiconductor

Much to his surprise, Bill discovers that in the latest version of "Monopoly," "Free Parking" has been replaced by "U.S. Supreme Court."
Brian Myers, ITT Aerospace/Communi-cations

Illegal mouse movement-Exception Trapped-Do you wish to continue?
David Heppner, Zetron Inc.

One little byte and snap.
Greg Fischer, Micro Perfect Corp.

It tastes kinda like chicken.
Grace Lorenzi, Steve M. Frattabone and Associates Inc.

'Funny thing is, I don't even like cheese.'
Don Deschane, E-Manufacturing Networks

Antitrust trap.
Charles Messerle, Siemens

Windows Protection Error.
Russ Sendelbach, Quantum

Immortal Works Archive

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