I wish this frame was higher so I could stand up. I hate limited bandwidth.
Perry Spooner, Emcee Broadcast Products

I would quit this job of cleaning up after the corporate logos, but I don't want to leave the high-tech biz.
Team EETnet, Don Swaab, Inrange Technologies, and Jim Randazzo

Great . . . I said I needed the fastest CAD tool . . . but they sent me the fastest cat . . . two!
Jackson Leung

Cleo found that adding a dash of panther urine to the contact plating bath helped the solder adhesion.
Stephen Wall, Packard-Hughes Interconnect

The U.S. government's latest attempt to improve the security of information systems at nuclear weapons facilities.
Aaron Drajpuch, Cognex Corp.

Marketing attempts to sneak past the reality of engineering (again).
Mark Klemkosky, Intel Corp.

Engineering management training exercise number 2: Herding cats.
Michael T. Wright, Motorola Systems Solutions Group

Having already lost one arm, a determined Janet Reno attempts to once again hand-feed her kitty cats, Bill and Andy.
Gregg Buzard, Hewlett-Packard Co.

I'm sorry. I thought you said that you wanted two furry cats, not 2-farad caps!
Jon Stern, Imagek Inc.

When it was discovered that the CEO had decided to move the enterprise-wide switch from NT to Unix, Microsoft sent two 'Customer Assistance Technicians' (CATs) to
investigate.
Edward Eldridge, Consulting Engineer

Many engineers believe that solving EMI and ground-loop issues falls into the realm of Black Magic.
Karen Tavares, Kaiser Electro-Optics

Justice department struggling to control the Wintel duo.
Haresh Patel and Reno Rossetti, Fairchild Semiconductor

The hacker Lady Macbeth tries to elude the latest intrusion-detection system.
Joseph M. Kusmiss, Mitre Corp.

Bolstered by her success in turning the salesmen into panthers, Sally then set her sights on the IS department.
Johnny Ancich, Dalsa Inc.

Ocean view, casual dress, pets in the office-why was the new engineer still feeling unfulfilled?
Joseph M. Kusmiss, Mitre Corp.

Are you sure this will take care of the Y2K problem?
Thomas S. Elliott, Technical and Regulatory Services Consultant, ITC Learning Corp.

As the board meeting progressed, the ongoing corporate downsizing/restructuring effort took a rather unexpected turn. . . .
Manoj Kalavar, Software Consultant

Mr. Gates, the attorneys from the DOJ are here to see you.
Bruce Wilkinson, Pioneer Magnetics Inc.

Miss Missouri 1999.
Douglas Wyman

Good kitty. Good kitty. Windows 2000 will be here any time now and I'll be able to use it to get the system up and order your cat food. NICE KITTY!
David C. Barber, Working Software, Consultant

Would my widdle cyber-kitties like some silicon carne?
Barton Bresnik, CSC

I didn't know Sony had come up with the cat version of their robots so soon. Dance kitty, dance!
Yong Yuenyongsgool, VLSI Technology

Ms. Linux's attempt to feed the OS market is thwarted by Bill Gates' cats.
Anthony Fulcher, Avanti Corp.

Darth Vader made a surprising comeback as the mother of 2-D graphics succumbed to the market force.
Peter Kertzner, Mitre Corp.

Not wanting to cook dinner last night, Donna braved the two guard panthers and snuck into the conference room for some leftovers.
Karen Panian, Cutler-Hammer

I accepted this job pandering for the sales department to keep the wolves away from my door, little realizing that I'd have to keep the leopards away from my arm.
Larry Heine, Moore Products Co.

Immortal Works Archive

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